IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism helps promote a country’s or a region’s culture. At the same time, there is concern about its negative effects on the preservation of local cultures. For a local culture, do the disadvantages of tourism outweigh the advantages?

Toursim
Correct your spelling
Tourism
 is the economic backbone for
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of countries worldwide.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 visitation of heritage sites fosters the cultures and traditions of a region,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are some cons primarily related to degradation of
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 hotspots that cannot be neglected. Taking into account the positive factors, tourists from all around the world
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
boosts
Correct subject-verb agreement
boost
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 the socio-economic growth of a nation. To explain
this
Linking Words
, when visitors visit diverse countries, they need a currency exchange to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 their money on hospitality, which
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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 hotels and meals.
This
Linking Words
 uplifts the
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 status of a country. A prime example is,
according to
Linking Words
 the
recend
Correct your spelling
recent
 survey, India's tourism contributes
upto
Use the right word
up to
show examples
 50% to its economic
progess
Correct your spelling
progress
. In the light of its negative consequences, the foremost one is the elevation of pollution and loss of
naturals
Fix the agreement mistake
natural
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 environment.
Due to
Linking Words
 seasonal influx,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of visitors
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
 in an area, which
also
Linking Words
 increases the demand for more food and shelter.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the legal
authories
Correct your spelling
authorities
 are clearing large patches of land to construct new hotels, which
turns
Verb problem
results
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
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loss
Correct article usage
a loss
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 of habitat
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many animals.
Also
Linking Words
,
manage of
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
 plastic waste
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 more challenging
due to
Linking Words
overconsumption
Correct article usage
the overconsumption
show examples
 of processed food and plastic water bottles.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, Governments are trying to adopt more
western
Fix capitalization
Western
show examples
 culture, which is becoming difficult to preserve intangible cultural heritage. Taking into account an example of India, Indians tend to demolish their own tourism hotspots and build innovative creations targeting cultural commodification to attract more tourists. Conclusively, tourism plays a key role in
escalation
Correct article usage
the escalation
show examples
 of the financial status of a nation
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
authories
Correct your spelling
authorities
 should conserve the authentic experience of heritage sites and shouldn't break those, for the sake of profit
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 steps should be taken to control the pollution by managing the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of visitors per year.

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planning
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro that states the topic and your view. End with a clear conclusion.
structure
Make each paragraph hold one big idea. Start with a topic sentence and then add 2–3 points.
linking
Use easy linking words like 'and', 'but', 'however', and 'for example' to move ideas.
content
Give real facts or smaller evidence to back each point. Check facts for accuracy.
language
Keep sentences short and fix spelling and grammar so the text is clear.
content
The writer covers both good and bad points.
structure
There is a final sentence that asks for care of sites.
content
An example is used to back a point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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