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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graphs depict UK
students
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 who graduated and postgraduated after leaving college in order to go into full-time work in 2008. The most significant facts to emerge from the graph are that the majority of
graduate
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 chose
further
Linking Words
studying
Replace the word
study
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, rather than doing voluntary work. Looking at the figures in more detail, the most went destination of
graduate
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 was
further
Linking Words
 study , with 29665 and 2725 respectively. Approximately 18000
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 went to a part-time job.
Similarly
Linking Words
, just over 2500
students
Use synonyms
 chose a part-time job, being the second top choice
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 approximately 16000
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 chose to be unemployed, 1625 postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 chose
this
Linking Words
 destination.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Voluntary work was chosen by 3500 graduates and 345 postgraduates.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, graduate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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