IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people choose a career according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career according to whether they will enjoy the work.

Nowadays, cell phones
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 one of the most important parts of our present life. For the
last
Linking Words
 ten years
usage
Punctuation problem
, usage
show examples
 of
smarthones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
signitificaly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 increased. Recently, phones only served for calls and text messages, but today it is the most universal thing in your pocket.
Besides
Linking Words
 calls and texts, you can call via any
messanger
Correct your spelling
messenger
 and speak with your friends and family remotely, seeing expressions on their faces,
while
Linking Words
 being far away from each other. We can
also
Linking Words
 use it at any time to capture the best moment of your life in a simple click. Recently, we used clunky machines to play games, but you can just take your
phone
Use synonyms
 out of
the
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 pocket and start to play any game you want.
For example
Linking Words
, you are having
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 trip on
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
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, you're bored, but with the
phone
Use synonyms
 we can fix it by using it to read books, listen to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music, watch
any
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
films,
tv
Use the right word
TV
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 shows and other cool things. Personally, I love to use my
phone
Use synonyms
 to listen to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music, because it has an entire
worlds
Check wording
world's
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 music library,
while
Linking Words
 riding a bus or taking a walk to the shop.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand, smartphones became a huge problem for many of us.I am speaking about attention spam. Most of the parents are buying phones not
obly
Correct your spelling
only
 for regular purposes, but to make them less noisy.It is easier to give your kid a
phone
Use synonyms
, turn on some cartoons and leave them like that, so parents could have some free time for themself. But it can be developed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge problem in the future - attention spam. Still,
smartphone
Correct article usage
the smartphone
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 is the greatest
technologie
Correct your spelling
technology
 of all time, as it is simply
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 thing to own today, but it has
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 own
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 if
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
used
unproperly
Replace the word
improperly
show examples
.

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task response
State your view on phones in the first line and keep to that view as you write.
coherence
Make a clear plan with three parts: intro, body, and end; put one idea in each paragraph.
coherence
Use easy links to connect ideas, like first, next, but, and, so.
language
Fix spelling and small mistakes, like smarthones, attention span, it’s, and other small words.
content
Give a simple real example to show your point.
content
There are many ideas about how phones help in life.
coherence
Some linking words help join ideas.
balance
The essay shows a balance of good and bad sides of phone use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • job satisfaction
  • social stature
  • monetary compensation
  • vocational passion
  • societal norms
  • pragmatism
  • longevity
  • intrinsic motivation
  • external pressures
  • economic stability
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • prosperity
  • self-actualization
  • financial pragmatism
  • career trajectory
  • vocational contentment
  • occupational prestige
  • personal alignment
What to do next:
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