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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of water in the UK rivers that was classified as having good chemical quality between 1990 and 2002.

The chart below shows the percentage of water in the UK rivers that was classified as having good chemical quality between 1990 and 2002.
The line graph compares how many of the UK
rivers
Use synonyms
 were categorised as having optimal chemical standards between 1990 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the four
rivers
Use synonyms
 experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
 the Wales and Northern Ireland
rivers
Use synonyms
 rate was high , the England and Scotland
rivers
Use synonyms
 percentage was almost half of that. As the graph shows, Wales
River
Use synonyms
's figure started with around 95 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1985
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it remained almost unchanged until 1998.
However
Linking Words
, it decreased considerably to 80 per
cent
Use synonyms
 between 1998 and 2002. Regarding Northern Ireland
rivers
Use synonyms
' trend, it started with approximately 83% in 1985 , and it increased to just below 90 percent until 1998, before witnessing steady
growth
Use synonyms
 to about 98% in 2002.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the rate of the English
river
Use synonyms
 started with around 45 in 1990 and it reached just below 70% in 1996, with moderate
growth
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it experienced
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
 decrease to 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 between 1996 and 1998, before witnessing considerable
growth
Use synonyms
 to exactly 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2002.
Correct article usage
The Scotland
show examples
Scotland
Correct word order
River Scotland
show examples
river
Use synonyms
 experienced an increase over a twelve-year period. The percentage of
this
Linking Words
river
Use synonyms
 was 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1992 , and it increased to 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 gradual
growth
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the trend reached a peak of 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2000, before decreasing to 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2002.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rivers, river, cent, growth with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
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