Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?

Government decisions about which

drugs

Use synonyms

are made legal or illegal receive diverse public responses. The significant societal and

health

Use synonyms

problems

Use synonyms

caused by legal

drugs

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

tobacco

Use synonyms

and

alcohol

Use synonyms

, have led many

people

Use synonyms

to advocate for them to be made illegal

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

heroin or cocaine.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that despite their potential harm,

tobacco

Use synonyms

and

alcohol

Use synonyms

should be legal. It is true that

drugs

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

tobacco

Use synonyms

and

alcohol

Use synonyms

can cause substantial

health

Use synonyms

risks and societal concerns.

Tobacco

Use synonyms

use is associated with

health

Use synonyms

problems

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as cancer and heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

Linking Words

while

Punctuation problem

, while

show examples

second-hand smoke adversely affects nearby individuals.

Similarly

Linking Words

, excessive

alcohol

Use synonyms

consumption can contribute to mental

health

Use synonyms

problems

Use synonyms

, liver disease.

Moreover

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

are under the influence of

Use synonyms

alcohol

Punctuation problem

alcohol,

show examples

it can lead to aggressive behaviour.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, these types of

drugs

Use synonyms

should not be subjected to the same strict laws as hard

drugs

Use synonyms

like cocaine and heroin, as they are substantially less damaging and addictive.

For instance

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

are able to enjoy a safe number of alcoholic beverages without compromising their

health

Use synonyms

or endangering the public.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when consumed in moderation,

alcohol

Use synonyms

plays an important role in helping

people

Use synonyms

to relax and enjoy themselves in social situations.

While

Linking Words

tobacco

Use synonyms

is certainly unhealthy, its prohibition may drive users to obtain the substance illegally or to turn to more

dangerous

Check wording

dangerous substances

show examples

alternatives. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

alcohol

Use synonyms

and

tobacco

Use synonyms

do have

problems

Use synonyms

for both

people

Use synonyms

’s

health

Use synonyms

and society, these

problems

Use synonyms

are not severe enough to justify making them illegal.

Instead

Linking Words

, public advertising campaigns and educational policies should be put in place to help individuals make wise decisions about how to use these

drugs

Use synonyms

diana929249

Aug 16, 2025

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content

Your view is clear and the main idea stays the same. To reach a higher score, add stronger proof for each idea and name more reasons or facts.

structure

Make the flow smooth. Use a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph and a link word to join ideas. Keep sentences short.

structure

Include one or two ideas from the other side, then show why your view is better. This helps show balance and thinking.

strength

Clear view on the topic from the start.

strength

Good use of some linking words to move ideas.

strength

The end sums up the view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Chronic diseases
Substance abuse
Psychological dependency
Social stigma
Preventive measures
Legislative framework
Healthcare expenditure
Judicial system
Prohibition era
Civil liberties
Tax revenues
Harm reduction
Ethical considerations
Public health policy
Addiction treatment

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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