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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of young people in higher education in 2000, 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of young people in higher education in 2000, 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of young individuals participating in higher education in four different
countries
Use synonyms
 over three different years: 2000, 2005, and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, with the exception of
country
Use synonyms
 B, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of young people pursuing higher education increased in
Countries
Use synonyms
 A, C, and D throughout the period shown.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Country
Use synonyms
 D and
Country
Use synonyms
 A demonstrated the most significant growth, with both reaching the highest percentages by 2010. Regarding the
countries
Use synonyms
 with marked upward trends, in 2000,
Country
Use synonyms
 A had the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of young people attending university at 35%,
whereas
Linking Words
Country
Use synonyms
 D recorded a slightly higher figure of 45%.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the proportion in
Country
Use synonyms
 A
Linking Words
subsequently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
rose considerably to 48% in 2005 and continued
this
Linking Words
 upward trajectory to reach 57% by the end of the period.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Country
Use synonyms
 D showed steady growth from 45% to 50% over the first five years, before climbing more dramatically to 60% in 2010, thereby registering the highest
overall
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 among all four
countries
Use synonyms
. As for the remaining nations,
Country
Use synonyms
 B and
Country
Use synonyms
 C began with fairly similar proportions in 2000, with around 41% of their youth population in higher education on average.
Thereafter
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 B's
percentage
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 experienced minimal fluctuation, dropping marginally to 39% in 2005 before returning to its original level of 40% by the end of the decade. Meanwhile,
Country
Use synonyms
 C saw a modest increase to 47% in 2005, after which its figure plateaued, remaining unchanged at 47% in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, subsequently".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, country, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • notable
  • significant
  • comparison
  • higher education
  • young people
  • year-on-year
  • socio-economic factors
  • government policy
  • economic conditions
  • cultural attitudes
  • globalization
  • educational reforms
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