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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows what Anthroplogy graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthroplogy graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the information about the six types of
work
Use synonyms
 that the
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduate
Correct subject-verb agreement
graduates
show examples
 from
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 university
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 after graduating .
Also
Linking Words
 , the table illustrates the income of graduate students.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over half of
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 had a
full
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 job.
While
Linking Words
 the lowest
nombers
Correct your spelling
numbers
 of the
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 had a
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 job and
postgrade
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
 study.
In addition
Linking Words
, the highest payment for
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 as freelance
consultant
Fix the agreement mistake
consultants
show examples
,but the lower payment was for
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 in
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 sector. First and foremost, there were 52%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 a job as
full
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there were 5% from thec
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
worked
show examples
 as
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and
postgrade
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
 study.
Linking Words
secondly
Fix capitalization
Secondly
show examples
, the highest salary that the
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 got from
Correct article usage
a
show examples
freelance consultant was 40%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 100.000$ . In spite of the
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
sa
Correct your spelling
as
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 with
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 was 5% from 25.000- 49.999 $ .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, anthropology, graduates, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • undergraduate degree
  • postgraduate study
  • unemployment
  • sector
  • freelance/contract work
  • breakdown
  • proportion
  • engage in
  • categorize
  • significantly vary
  • academic positions
  • private companies
  • government positions
  • secure employment
  • undergraduates
  • destinations
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