IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, not enough students study science subjects. What are the causes? What will be the effect on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is said that the number of
students
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 who study
science
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subjects
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 is not enough in many countries. I would like to explain some possible reasons and how
this
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 affects
the
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apply
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society. One of the
reasones
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reasons
 why
students
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 avoid studying
science
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subjects
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 is that mathematics is applied to these
subjects
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. There are so many
students
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 in the world who do not like
mathmatics
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mathematics
. As they lack the basic knowledge of mathematics, they will find
science
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subjects
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 difficult when they try to
learne
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learn
 these. Another reason is that salaries are not high in technical
jobs
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 which require
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science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 knowledge. Many young people tend to apply
to
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for
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the
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apply
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jobs
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 with higher
payments
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pay
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, and most of these
jobs
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need
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require
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the
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apply
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communication
skill
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skills
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.
Students
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 prefer to spend their time on enhancing their communication
skill
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skills
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 through club activities, volunteer
works
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work
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 and so on,
instead
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 of studying
science
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subjects
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. One of the effects that not enough
students
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study
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studying
show examples
science
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 is the decline in
techiniques
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techniques
 of the country. When the
students
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 who
studies
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study
show examples
science
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subjects
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 decrease,
technitians
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technicians
 will become less competitive. As competition is essential for
the
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apply
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technical innovation, the country will be overtaken by other
contries
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countries
 in
technical
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the technical
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 area.
Furthermore
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, as the lack of
the
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apply
show examples
students
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 continues
, the
Verb problem
to decline, the
show examples
 importance of
science
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subjects
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 will not be acknowledged by more people. Without the experience of learning
science
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subjects
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, it is difficult to understand why these
subjects
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 are important. In conclusion, the lack of
the
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apply
show examples
students
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 who study
science
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 stems from the requirement of learning mathematics and scientific
jobs
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' low salaries.
This
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 situation will lead to
the
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a
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 decline in techniques and the people who understand the importance of
science
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subjects
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.

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structure
Use clear links to show how ideas go from one point to the next. Start with 'First', then 'Next', 'Because', 'So' to show flow.
organization
Write one idea in each paragraph. Begin with a line that states the idea, then add a short explain.
language
Fix easy mistakes in spell and grammar. Use short, simple sentences.
content
Give real or clear examples to back up your points.
content
Make sure you talk about both causes and effects in a balanced way.
content
The essay shows a real attempt to talk about causes and effects.
structure
There is a clear end that repeats the main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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