IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many claims that the fast-food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people claim that the
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 industry has a negative effect on the environment, eating habits and families.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one major negative impact of fast
food
Use synonyms
 is its effects on the environment. The meat production
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 requires a huge amount of land, water feed.
This
Linking Words
 results in deforestation and biodiversity loss. Transporting ingredients globally contributes to carbon dioxide emissions. Most fast
food
Use synonyms
 uses plastics, Styrofoam and paper, which get thrown in the oceans and landfills.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is not good for health. These are often high in unhealthy fats, sugars and sodium, leading to poor eating habits, obesity and related health issues
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes and heart disease. The rise of obesity among adults and children is often linked to consuming fast
food
Use synonyms
. Some families often buy fast
food
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 affects the family bonding, communication and establishing healthy eating habits. Home-cooked meals are more meaningful. In conclusion,
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 industry has a detrimental effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, health and society in general.

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task response
State your view clearly in the intro and keep a simple, direct stance. Use a short clear sentence like: 'I agree, to a large extent.'
coherence
Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that states the main point, then explain. Add 1 or 2 clear examples for each point.
grammar
Check grammar and word choice. Fix small errors, for example: 'which get thrown' -> 'that are thrown'; 'cars' no; ensure 'fast food' phrasing is consistent.
coherence
Use linking words to show links between ideas, such as 'also', 'however', 'in addition', 'for example'.
structure
The essay has a clear stance and follows a simple, easy-to-follow structure.
content
Health and environment ideas are present and easy to follow.
evidence
Uses examples like obesity and pollution to support points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Substantial amount of waste
  • Pollution and landfill overflow
  • Unhealthy fats, sugars, and sodium
  • Obesity and diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Family bonding
  • Communication
  • Establishing healthy eating habits
  • Intensive farming practices
  • Deforestation
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Depletion of natural resources
  • Advertising and marketing
  • Target children
  • Early-age addiction
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