IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
The bar chart gives information about the consumption of
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in five major states
laying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in Australia in the
last
Linking Words
 month.
Overall
Linking Words
,people who went to cafe shops in the
last
Linking Words
 month had the highest
percantages
Correct your spelling
percentages
 in all of the cities during the period given in the question,
while
Linking Words
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who
purchesed
Correct your spelling
purchased
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 had a
littile
Correct your spelling
little
 to no decrease in all of them.
to begin
Linking Words
 with, the proportion who bought
pre made
Use the right word
pre-made
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 didn't diverge in all of the states, being
will
Use the right word
well
show examples
 over 50% in both Adelaide and Hobert,
while
Linking Words
 it was the 2nd most
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
 after
grounded
Replace the word
ground
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Hobert.
Linking Words
Further more
Use the right word
Furthermore
show examples
, Hobert had the biggest usage, being no less than 38% and having the most sales in Melbourne
being
Punctuation problem
, being
show examples
will
Use the right word
well
show examples
 over 60%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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