Some workers retire at the age of 50, while others work until they are 65. At the same time, we can see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Until what ages do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment?

Some people argued that

laborers

Use the right word

labourers

show examples

should retire at the

age

Use synonyms

of 50,

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

workers

Check wording

apply

show examples

still do at 65.

Besides

Linking Words

that, some politicians were

over

Change preposition

show examples

eighties

Correct pronoun usage

their eighties

show examples

but enjoyed power to control their nations. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will analyse some reasons before making decisions about

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

nowadays. In nations like China, there is a tendency to retire around 55

years

Use synonyms

old to be able to enhance their own

health

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

other countries have a

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

of 60 to 65 or even more than to 70, the reason is the lack of labor force, aging population, the elderly

also

Linking Words

have to work to partly contribute to the

country

Use synonyms

's finances.

However

Linking Words

, their

health

Use synonyms

is still good enough to continue working with the elderly.

For example

Linking Words

, in Denmark, their

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

is around 70

years

Use synonyms

old, or even in Japan, moving towards a

country

Use synonyms

without a

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

that, some politicians over 80

years

Use synonyms

old still hold power in their hands to control the national situation.

For example

Linking Words

, President Donald Trump is 80

years

Use synonyms

old, still leading the

country

Use synonyms

who has

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

worked for many

years

Use synonyms

, so they have the right thoughts and clear thinking to lead the

country

Use synonyms

, bringing prosperity.

However

Linking Words

, I think that late

retirement

Use synonyms

is mostly in the political field

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

the rest

is wanting

Wrong verb form

want

show examples

to retire early to rest and spend

time

Use synonyms

with family. I think that it is reasonable for

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

55 to 65

years

Use synonyms

old. In my opinion,

women

Use synonyms

should retire at 60 and men at 65.

Women

Use synonyms

retire earlier than men for a reasonable reason.

Women

Use synonyms

are the ones with the sacred mission of giving birth, because

this

Linking Words

partly affects the mother's

health

Use synonyms

, so retiring at 60 is extremely appropriate.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, for men, who are stronger than

women

Use synonyms

and the breadwinner of the family,

Rephrase

apply

show examples

retiring at the

age

Use synonyms

of 65 is appropriate to receive pensions and enjoy life later.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

is a valuable

time

Use synonyms

to nurture family affection, love for their grandchildren and

also

Linking Words

witness the moment their children grow up and receive filial

Check wording

piety.

show examples

organizing

Use the right word

organising

show examples

family parties to connect members of family

and

Check wording

members and

show examples

chatting together, which can bond

loves

Check wording

apply

show examples

and develop mental

health

Use synonyms

. At the same

time

Use synonyms

, older people should spend more

time

Use synonyms

exercising to improve their

health

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

these are things that they rarely did when they were young

due to

Linking Words

their busy work schedule

, if

Punctuation problem

. If

show examples

Punctuation problem

, at

show examples

Use the right word

old age

show examples

old-

Punctuation problem

old-age,

show examples

age

Use synonyms

they continue to work in hectic schedules, their

health

Use synonyms

will deteriorate.

In addition

Linking Words

, when

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

retire, they

also

Linking Words

create space for the younger generation to grow, have the opportunity to innovate, gain new knowledge and learn from the previous generation's experience and become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

, contributing to society. In conclusion, in

Correct article usage

the politics

show examples

politics

Replace the word

political

show examples

field still

have

Verb problem

apply

show examples

some politicians

hold

Wrong verb form

holding

show examples

power to bring prosperity

for

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

while

Linking Words

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

others field

Fix the agreement mistake

other fields

show examples

also

Linking Words

depends on each nation and combined with their own population situations. In my opinion, from 60 to 65 is a reasonable

age

Use synonyms

for the elderly.

kathievo145

Aug 22, 2025

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structure

Make the intro show your view clearly. State a simple plan or thesis so the reader knows your aim.

coherence

Group ideas in clear paragraphs. Use linking words to show how ideas fit and follow each other.

content

Use more real and simple examples that truly fit the question. Avoid facts that could be wrong or not in date.

grammar

Check language. Use simple and correct grammar, verb and noun forms.

content strength

The essay shows a clear view on when to retire.

content strength

There are some good examples and reasons that give a sense of argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

499 words

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Some workers retire at the age of 50, while others work until they are 65. At the same time, we can see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Until what ages do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?