IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that all students should study history as a major subject, while others feels that other subjects are important for children in today's society. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Several members of society argue that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 history is a very significant subject for students and they ought to learn
better
Correct pronoun usage
it better
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 all subjects are equally crucial and they provide a wide range of knowledge for young generations in the modern era. For ages, history has been one of the main subjects, as it helps
people
Use synonyms
 to identify their background, including ancient civilisations, culture, traditions and heritage.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,many years ago, there were well-known
people
Use synonyms
, magnificent buildings, unique traditional events and fascinating rules, which
allows
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to understand the world more clearly.
Ifwe
Correct your spelling
If we
 know our rich
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
heritage, we can build a more successful future.
In addition
Linking Words
,
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
 can provide many useful opportunities for university entrants who need to pursue a degree in fields
such
Linking Words
 as law and political science.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 other modules are
also
Linking Words
 extremely fundamental in our modern life.
For example
Linking Words
, mathematics, medicine, management, agriculture, art and modern technology
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can play a vital role in the development of society. Without those educational programs, it would be impossible to become successful leaders, create businesses, construct skyscrapers or achieve other significant careers. In conclusion, unless we try to study some of the most important
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 of
studies
Fix the agreement mistake
study
show examples
 which can lead us to achieve our
dreamed
Replace the word
dream
show examples
 life, we might not become the great person we need.
Therefore
Linking Words
, students should study each subject better, since the modern world absolutely requires a majority of knowledge from young
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young individuals are regarded future of the world. So, students should learn history and other important modules.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer all parts of the question. State your view clearly in the first paragraph and add 3 main ideas with simple examples.
coherence cohesion
Plan how to link ideas. Use clear linking words and start each paragraph with a main idea so the writing flows well.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides and give a view.
organization
There is a plan with introduction, body and conclusion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: