IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

We should stop wasting money on alternative energy sources (for example, solar and wind power) because they are too unreliable to ever replace coal and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A growing number of individuals today express concern over the replacement of fossil fuels by renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 sources. They believe that we should stop investing in
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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resources
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due to
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its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 feasibility. From my perspective, I completely disagree with
this
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 suggestion based on some reasons that are explained in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, the foremost argument to justify my stand is that using alternative
energy
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 sources is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant measure for tackling environmental problems nowadays. In other
word
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words
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employing
Punctuation problem
, employing
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 solar or wind power can solve
resource
Correct article usage
the resource
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 exhaustion situation, which
caused
Verb problem
is caused
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 by overexploitation. The amount of gas emissions
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been reduced by using
energy
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 produced by natural
resources
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, helping moderate climate change.
Hence
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, it becomes evident that alternative
energy
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a direct impact on
environment
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environmental
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 conservation.
Furthermore
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, the other reason to prove my point is the economic benefits of renewable
energy
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resources
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 in the
long-term
Use the right word
long term
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. People can
recognize
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recognise
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 the fact that renewables cost are
stabler
Correct word choice
stable
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 in
global
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the global
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 market than fossil fuels, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 going to be exhausted in the
upcoming
Correct word choice
near
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time
Check wording
future
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. Another essential point to make is that some countries can be independent in
energy
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resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
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 from without importing
energy
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 can
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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state expenditure. A prime illustration of
this
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 point is that many provinces in the world have seen a decrease in
expense
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expenses
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 after
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
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 renewable sources
of
Change preposition
to
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 citizens’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In conclusion, I firmly disagree with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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preventing clean
energy
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resources
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 expenses because these
energy
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contribute
Check wording
resources contribute
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 to environmental protection and economic growth. It is hoped that individuals will respond
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this
Change preposition
to this
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 statement for the long-term development of the planet.

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coherence
Make each paragraph carry one main idea and start with a clear topic sentence.
task response
Add more detail and simple examples for each reason.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together.
language
Check grammar and word form to avoid mistakes.
conclusion
End with a short, clear conclusion that repeats your view.
content
You state your view clearly in the introduction.
content
You give two reasons to back your view.
structure
The essay has a proper ending that restates the view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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