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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.
Here are four ways of transporting goods in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 between 1974 and 2002. As we can know, the transportation
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
Use synonyms
 was the most frequent way, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
was
Check wording
transportation was
show examples
 the third at
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 soon exceeded
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rail and
finally
Linking Words
 became the second way of transporting goods. What's more, the
pipeline
Use synonyms
 was of the lowest frequency from 1974 to 2002. In 1974, the
road
Use synonyms
 was the only one which had over forty
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of goods to deliver
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 slightly increasing except the railway, which was slowly declining. Over the period from 1974 to approximately 1980, the
water
Use synonyms
 surged and had the edge of sixty
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
, the
pipeline
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 increased steadily, and the
road
Use synonyms
 was rising at first but soon decreased to its initial state. What's more, the rail was still going down. From 1980 to 1995, the
road
Use synonyms
 was
sharply increased
Correct word order
increased sharply
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 to eighty
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
. The
water
Use synonyms
 and the
pipeline
Use synonyms
 were growing slowly, and the continuous decline happened on the railway. In 1995, the
road
Use synonyms
 was still booming and eventually peaked at about 100
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 was increasing in fluctuation and
finally
Linking Words
 reached its highest point
over
Change preposition
of over
show examples
 sixty
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the rail was rising during that time and ultimately reached its initial quantity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
pipeline
Use synonyms
 was steady, which had a figure of over twenty
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, in addition".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, water, pipeline, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Transported goods
  • Quantities
  • Trends
  • Modes of transport
  • Rail
  • Road
  • Water
  • Pipeline
  • Fluctuations
  • Predominance
  • Economic influences
  • Societal changes
  • Technological advancements
  • Environmental impact
  • Growth
  • Steady increase/decrease
  • Comparison
  • Period (e.g., decade, years)
  • Examination
  • Implications
  • Analysis
  • Conclusion
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