IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you do not want to do, or do not have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things themselves? I write an essay about this topic, when I will complete You tell me about my mistakes and step by step will give band score.

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Introduction
Some
people
Use synonyms
 hire a house help for their
children
Use synonyms
's
take-care
Use the right word
care
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 household work, because they
Verb problem
do have
show examples
have not
Correct word order
not have
show examples
 enough
time
Use synonyms
 to do these things.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses
that
Correct word choice
how
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is beneficial for those
people
Use synonyms
 who need a
job
Use synonyms
, and if
possible
Punctuation problem
possible,
show examples
 they definitely do
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 by themselves.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost, some
people
Use synonyms
 can not do these
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 during their
job
Use synonyms
;
therefore
Linking Words
, they provide
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
show examples
 to those
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who want to do
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, their working hours are inflexible, they need domestic help
such
Linking Words
 as cooking, cleaning
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
childcare. They hire a
nainy
Correct your spelling
nanny
for their taking
Wrong verb form
to take
show examples
 care of
Use synonyms
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
. They can not manage the responsibility of both
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 their household and their
job
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, if you hire a
housekeepers
Fix the agreement mistake
housekeeper
show examples
,
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
you help them as they do not have
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
.
Its
Use the right word
It's
show examples
 a way of helping others.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should do these tasks by themselves, if possible, they spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their
children
Use synonyms
, which they feel neglected
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they learn many things with their
parents
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, those
children
Use synonyms
, whose
parents
Use synonyms
 are both working,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 for them
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 are not active and mostly are introverted;
therefore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
some
time
Use synonyms
 with them and
also
Linking Words
 do their
hosehold
Correct your spelling
household
 work by themselves.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is a better way to provide employment to others for their housecare and childcare.
Parents
Use synonyms
 should take these responsibilities by themselves whenever possible.

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language accuracy
Fix grammar and spelling. Use short, clear sentences.
structure
Plan your essay: clear intro with thesis, 2 body paragraphs with main ideas, and a brief conclusion.
content
Show both sides more evenly. add real details or examples to support your point.
content
The essay shows a topic and some linked ideas.
coherence
There are linking words that show order and flow.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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