IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening ? Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the drawbacks ?

It is irrefutable, the family is
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
 the backbone
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 everyone's life.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 numerous people are living apart from their family members
due to
Linking Words
 certain reasons.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, education and profession are the primary causes of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, and it is harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 one's life.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the primary reason to live
saparately
Correct your spelling
separately
 from loved ones is pursuing
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 qualification. To make it clearer, after passing senior secondary education, young people are often helpless to travel
different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 in order to continue their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is hard for them to move with family there
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
That is
Linking Words
 why learners are powerless to
swift
Use the right word
shift
show examples
 alone.
For example
Linking Words
, youth from Asia
mostly
Punctuation problem
, mostly
show examples
 India, China, Pakistan,
Shri
Correct word choice
and Shri
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Lanka
Punctuation problem
Lanka,
show examples
 migrate to
canada
Fix capitalization
Canada
show examples
 and the America for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
courses
Check wording
studies
show examples
 in
top ranked
Use the right word
top-ranked
show examples
 colleges and universities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sometimes
masses
Check wording
people
show examples
 stay temporarily away from their hometown because of their work and
unable
Verb problem
are unable
show examples
 to meet their family and friends for a particular time period.
For instance
Linking Words
, doctors in government hospitals and bank staff generally get
transfer
Replace the word
transferred
show examples
 from one branch to another in
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 city or state.
Linking Words
consequently
Fix capitalization
Consequently
show examples
, they are forced to live
long-distanced
Use the right word
long distances
show examples
 from their home.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the trend of living far from family is totally
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
, as it
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 the family bonding
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 tragic way,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them feel isolated, and
Verb problem
is inconvenience
show examples
inconvenience
Replace the word
inconvenient
show examples
 for
migrant
Fix the agreement mistake
migrants
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 living far from family, individuals are unable to meet with their family members and friends
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 not only
weakened
Wrong verb form
weakens
show examples
 the
relationshop
Correct your spelling
relationship
 but
also
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them feel
isolate
Replace the word
isolated
show examples
 because they cannot meet them, help
ecah
Correct your spelling
each
 other in difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 and enjoy their memorable
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
show examples
togather
Correct your spelling
together
for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time . In
this
Linking Words
 case, people may lose their social bonding, feel lonely
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 well
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
uncomfortable. In conclusion,
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 and job are the two main
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 of living away from families
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 negatively
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the relationship and
bring inconvenience sometimes
Correct word order
sometimes bring inconvenience
show examples
 for one who live far.

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task response
Answer both parts of the task. Say why families are farther apart and if the good sides are bigger than the bad sides.
task response
Plan two body parts: one on causes and effects, plus a clear view on advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and simple sentences. Check spelling and grammar.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like First, Next, Also, But, Therefore to show how ideas fit.
contents
Give concrete examples that fit the point and check facts.
task response
You show a clear idea that families can be far apart.
coherence cohesion
There is a plan with a start, middle, and end.
task response
Some points use examples to support ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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