IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given line graphs illustrate the percentage of households with electrical appliances and the time taken to do housework during the years between 1920 and 2019.

The given line graphs illustrate the percentage of households with electrical appliances and the time taken to do housework during the years between 1920 and 2019.
The given line graphs illustrate the proportion of families with electrical
appliences
Correct your spelling
appliances
 and the amount of time spent on doing housework each
week
Use synonyms
 by each household over a period of 99 years. It is obvious from the graphs that the number of housework hours
decresead
Correct your spelling
decreased
 steadily
due to
Linking Words
 the
incresead
Correct your spelling
increased
 use of electrical appliances throughout the given timeline. In
1920
Punctuation problem
1920,
show examples
 none of the households owned a
refrigerater
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
, which significantly became popular in 1940 with over 50%, and from
1980
Punctuation problem
1980,
show examples
 each family had a refrigerator until the end of the period.
Similarly
Linking Words
, every home had a vacuum cleaner in 2000, which witnessed a significant growth from 30% in 1920. 40% of families had a washing machine in 1920, which increased gradually to 70% by 1960, with a small drop to 65 % in 1980,
subsequently
Linking Words
incresead
Correct your spelling
increased
 to about 75% by 2019. At the beginning of the period, 50% of hours a
week
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 spent on household
chorus
Use the right word
chores
show examples
 in every family, which remarkably declined to 20% per
week
Use synonyms
 in 1960.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the later years, the time spent continued to decrease steadily,
which reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
a
lowest
Replace the word
low
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 10 hours a
week
Use synonyms
 by the year 2019.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: