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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the advent of economical air travel has been very beneficial by making international travel more accessible, while others argue that it has had a very negative impact. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Although
Linking Words
 many individuals think that cheap
Use synonyms
airplane
Use the right word
aeroplane
show examples
 tickets are detrimental, others concur that making
travel
Use synonyms
 abroad more accessible has many upsides. I completely believe that making overseas
travel
Use synonyms
 easier is beneficial. At the outset, enabling easy access to overseas
travel
Use synonyms
 made
Use synonyms
airplane
Use the right word
aeroplane
show examples
 companies more thirsty for money. The huge
Use synonyms
airplane
Use the right word
aeroplane
show examples
 firms made significant profits from economical flights
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 notorious practices.
Firstly
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, they increased the number of seats for their
airplanes
Use the right word
aeroplanes
show examples
 by making them significantly smaller, which made the
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 experience more annoying.
Moreover
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, many companies started to charge
people
Use synonyms
 for every service they provide on their
airplanes
Use the right word
aeroplanes
show examples
. To give an illustration,
Nas
Correct article usage
the Nas
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 company made 20 million Dollars
last
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 year from selling meals on their
airplanes
Use the right word
aeroplanes
show examples
 rather than providing them for free. In my opinion, making
Use synonyms
airplane
Use the right word
aeroplane
show examples
 tickets cheaper can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to explore the world.
enabling
Fix capitalization
Enabling
show examples
 easy access to international
travel
Use synonyms
 allows individuals to explore different cultures, and they can meet new
people
Use synonyms
while
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 being in a different country. Not only can
this
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 make
people
Use synonyms
 more knowledgeable, but
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also it can
Correct word order
it can also
show examples
 enhance their communication skills.
Furthermore
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,
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 abroad can
engender
Verb problem
help
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 human beings
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn
toleration
Replace the word
tolerance
show examples
 and decrease the level of racism in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. All in all, Humans can get enormous benefits from
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 to other countries, and having the opportunity to meet new
people
Use synonyms
, which can make
people
Use synonyms
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more
tolerable
Correct word choice
tolerant
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to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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.
To conclude
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, even though many individuals believe that making
travel
Use synonyms
 overseas easier can have negative effects, I completely think that enabling easy access to international
travel
Use synonyms
 is crucial, and it can have significant upsides.

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position
You keep a clear place on your view.
content
You give reasons for why travel can help people learn.
structure
You try to talk about both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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