IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first chart shows information about consumers of water in Australia in 2018. The second chart gives details of residential water use in Australia in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart shows information about consumers of water in Australia in 2018. The second chart gives details of residential water use in Australia in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 gives statistics about the distribution of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in Australia in 2018. The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 reveals the specific percentages of five aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
residential
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in the same country and in the same year. As for the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, it is evident that residential
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 accounted for the largest share (70%)
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
use.
show examples
 Houses consumed 53% of the total
water
Use synonyms
 consumption,
while
Linking Words
 apartments consumed a far smaller
amount
Use synonyms
 of
water
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, taking only 17%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the other four aspects of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 constituted 30% of the annual
water
Use synonyms
use
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, in which business and industrial
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 were similar, amounting to 10% and 11% respectively, followed by government
use
Use synonyms
 (6%) and others (3%). As is shown in the bar
chart
Use synonyms
, in the detailed aspects of residential
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
,
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
 and bathroom consumed the largest proportion, accounting for 28% and 27% respectively. Less
amount
Use synonyms
 of
water
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 was used to wash clothes (20%).
However
Linking Words
, the toilet consumed just more than half of the
amount
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 of
water
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 used in
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
 (15%). People used the least
amount
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 of
water
Use synonyms
 in the kitchen at home (10%). In conclusion, residential
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
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 took the leading role in the total consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 in Australia in 2018. People mainly used
water
Use synonyms
 for gardening and bathing at home.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, water, use, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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