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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The visual chart below shows how many girls enrolled in different grades of school
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 per 100 boys. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
education
Use synonyms
, we can see that developed
countries
Use synonyms
almost
Rephrase
apply
show examples
don't have differences between 1990 and 1998.
While
Linking Words
 developing
countries
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slight differences from 1990 to 1998.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the gap between developing
countries
Use synonyms
 and developed
countries
Use synonyms
 in secondary
education
Use synonyms
 is bigger, the developed
countries
Use synonyms
 are likely to fit the 100
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
 per 100 boys
target
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the developing
countries
Use synonyms
 are left behind, even decreasing. The worst gap between developed
countries
Use synonyms
 and developing
countries
Use synonyms
are happen
Verb problem
is
show examples
 in tertiary
education
Use synonyms
. Because,
while
Linking Words
 the developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have already passed the
target
Use synonyms
line
Use synonyms
, both in 1990 and 1998. Sadly, the developing
countries
Use synonyms
 are more likely to increase the distance from the
target
Use synonyms
line
Use synonyms
. So, developing
countries
Use synonyms
 still
not
Verb problem
have not
show examples
 passed the
target
Use synonyms
line
Use synonyms
 in any
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
 of
education
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 1998.
In contrast
Linking Words
, developed
countries
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 already passed the
target
Use synonyms
line
Use synonyms
 in tertiary
education
Use synonyms
, and the other levels
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 almost fulfilling the
target
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, countries, target, line with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • number
  • girls
  • boys
  • enrolled
  • education
  • primary
  • secondary
  • higher
  • ratio
  • indicate
  • barriers
  • accessible
  • significant
  • decline
  • pursuing
  • features
  • comparisons
  • gender
  • equality
  • societal
  • norms
  • progress
  • issues
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