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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows that the percentage of Australian export to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012.

The graph below shows that the percentage of Australian export to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012.
The graph gives data about the percentage of Australian sales overseas to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
while
Linking Words
 China's rates
were
Verb problem
apply
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increased significantly, the indicators of the US and Japan showed a small decrease over time.
India
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's rate fluctuated over the period. As the line graph shows, China started with about 1 per
cent
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exports
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of exports
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 in 1990. Followed by an enormous growth with 10 per
cent
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 export to China between 1995 and 2010.
Then
Linking Words
, it steadily rose to around 28 per
cent
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 overseas until the
end
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 of time. Regarding the US began with approximately 11 per
cent
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 sent overseas in 1990.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the indicators of the US fluctuated between 1995 and 2000. Afterwards,there was a steady decline to around 5 per
cent
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 overseas from 2000 to 2010, followed by a tiny increase to about 8 per
cent
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 overseas until the
end
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 of the period. Turning to
India
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 started with 0 overseas in 1990.
India
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's rate levelled off between 1995 and 2000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there was rapid growth with around 5 per
cent
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 sent overseas from 2000 to 2010.Followed by a small decrease
at the
Linking Words
end
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 of the year.Regarding Japan began at around 28 per
cent
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 in 1990.
By contrast
Linking Words
, it was a tiny decline with 20 per
cent
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 overseas in 1995.
India
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's rate levelled off until the
end
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 of the period

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words india, cent, end with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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