IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. But other people think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that learning many
subjects
Use synonyms
 in school can be useful.
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly believed that studying in
detales
Correct your spelling
detail
 is better than general teaching, others insist that learners
study
Correct pronoun usage
who study
show examples
 in all
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 have more information;
thus
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, the debate continues.
Although
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 students learn a small number of
subjects
Use synonyms
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 less
stress
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
, I believe that development starts from learning a wide range of
subjects
Use synonyms
;
this
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 is because children can
chooses
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 which subject is good for them, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Linking Words
also we must
Correct word order
we must also
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 give them
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information that will help them in the future. On one hand, some people think that a wide range of modules
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 vital, and it will improve
children
Check wording
children's
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 skills.
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this
Fix capitalization
This
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 means that each student has
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right to choose
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 field that impressed
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
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, the United States teaches
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 students general courses in the first year at universities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
researches
Use the right word
researchers
show examples
 said that students
studied
Correct pronoun usage
who studied
show examples
spreawide
Check wording
a wide range
show examples
 of areas got high grades.
On the other hand
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, other communities prefer to teach
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 children in
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 area, and that will be helpful for them to be
a special
Use the right word
specialists
show examples
 in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 fields. Indeed,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 the student learns maths only,
so
Rephrase
then
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 the student will be an expert in
this
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 field.
For instance
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, Newton is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 scientist in physics because he
study
Wrong verb form
studied
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 physics only.
Furthermore
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,
foucsing
Correct your spelling
focusing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one subject will be better than more
subjects
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 will reduce the stress. In conclusion, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 no simple answers;
nevertheless
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, I tend to believe that studying in a wide range of courses will give them more skills and enhancement;
thus
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,
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 essential for
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 by
foucsing
Correct your spelling
focusing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all areas to get the best for each field.

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planning
Plan your essay with a short plan before you write. Make an intro that states the topic and your view. Then two body parts for each side and a short conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Use clear linking words to show how ideas are connected, such as first, also, but, then, so.
grammar
Keep sentences small and clear. Check for spelling errors and fix mistakes that make the text hard to read.
content
Give a clear example for each idea and keep ideas simple and on topic. Avoid wrong or unclear facts.
lexical
Use common words from high use words list to keep the meaning clear and easy.
task response
The essay shows an attempt to discuss both sides and gives a view.
coherence
There is an introduction and a conclusion present.
content
Some examples are used to back points.
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