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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the estimated percentage of car trips taken by drivers in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting the main key feature and make comparison where relevant

The bar chart below shows the estimated percentage of car trips taken by drivers in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting the main key feature and make comparison where relevant
The provided bar chart illustrates the evaluated proportion of car travel, divided by various purposes and
both
Use synonyms
 genders of
drivers
Use synonyms
 in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, car
trips
Use synonyms
 taken by
both
Use synonyms
 male and female
drivers
Use synonyms
 showed the highest proportion for work in 2005,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
least
Correct word choice
fewest
show examples
trips
Use synonyms
 taken by
women
Use synonyms
 were for visiting town, compared to those taken by
men
Use synonyms
drivers
Use synonyms
 for
both
Use synonyms
bank
Check wording
banking
show examples
 and running errands. Regarding the purpose of courses, the number of
trips
Use synonyms
 made by
men
Use synonyms
 was smaller than that made by
women
Use synonyms
 by almost one
third,
Linking Words
with just below 10% and more than
this
Linking Words
 level, respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
trips
Use synonyms
 for
bank
Correct article usage
the bank
show examples
 and running errands made by males were
both
Use synonyms
 around 3%, as opposed to those made by females, which were around 9%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, visiting friends demonstrated a ratio of
women
Use synonyms
's
trips
Use synonyms
 of around 8%, which doubled
men
Use synonyms
's
trips
Use synonyms
 of approximately 4%. The rate of
men
Use synonyms
's
trips
Use synonyms
 for shopping
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 was two-thirds that of
women
Use synonyms
's
trips
Use synonyms
, with precisely 10% and approximately 18%, respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
, males took
trips
Use synonyms
 much more than the other gender for visiting
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
, recreation, and work purposes. As for visiting town, nearly 10% of
trips
Use synonyms
 taken by
men
Use synonyms
drivers
Use synonyms
 surpassed 2% of
trips
Use synonyms
 taken by
women
Use synonyms
 in the given period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, recreation exhibited a percentage of over 10% in
men
Use synonyms
's
trips
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to a proportion of about 3% in
women
Use synonyms
's.
Besides
Linking Words
,
trips
Use synonyms
 made by
women
Use synonyms
 were nearly 40%, which was slightly over 10% less than
men
Use synonyms
's value for work.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words both, drivers, trips, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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