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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table shows the information about the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and bananas in the years 1999 and 2004 in five different European
continents
Check wording
countries
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Switzerland
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 has the most demanding market in both
coffee
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 and
banana
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, constituting 3
million
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 and 15
million
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, and is two times larger than the
UK
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sales
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 (1.5
million
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),
Check wording
Euros), while
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while
Linking Words
Sweden
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 takes up the least with 0.8
million
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 Euros. In 2004,
Coffee
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 consumption in the
UK
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 took the lead with around 20
million
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, which is the biggest than the rest added together.
Coffee
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sales
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 in
Switzerland
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 constitute around 6
million
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 Denmark, Belgium, and
Sweden
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 have taken only 2
million
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, 1.7
million
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 and 1
million
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. Moving on to
sales
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 in
Banana
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,
Switzerland
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 its outstanding
sales
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 at 15
million
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other countries like
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, Belgium,
Sweden
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, and Denmark remained stable at around 1
million
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, 0.6
million
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, 1.8
million
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 and 2
million
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 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2004,
banana
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 consumption rose dramatically
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 47
million
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.
UK
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 and Belgium,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, increased almost six times
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 5.5 and 4
million
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. In conclusion, it is reasonable to believe that
Switzerland
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 has
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular market in both
Use synonyms
coffee
Correct article usage
the coffee
show examples
 and
banana
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 industries,
while
Linking Words
Sweden
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 and Denmark are on the opposite downstream.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, switzerland, banana, million, uk, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade-labelled
  • sales figures
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • European countries
  • sales volume
  • notable trend
  • exponential growth
  • moderate rise
  • marked decline
  • comparative analysis
  • economic factors
  • consumer preferences
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