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Writing Samples
Band 5

MamadjonovSamandar: Topic: Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. Task: what are the advantages and disadvantages of children playing computer games?

There is no denying the fact that computer
games
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 have gained a lot of popularity in the past few years.
While
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 many experts are concerned about the effects of these devices on children, there is
also
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 an argument
these
Correct word choice
that these
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 developed
games
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 are beneficial for them. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the advantages and
diadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of
this
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 approach. On the one hand, there are some drawbacks to the high use of digital
games
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.
First,
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since gaming is addictive, children spend too much
time
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 on it.
This
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 can result in poor academic performance.
In other words
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, having lower grades at school,
skiping
Correct your spelling
skipping
 classes, and
didcating
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dedicating
 their entire
time
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 just for playing, all of which are some of the bad outcomes of being
addictive
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addicted
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 to
such
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games
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.
Additionally
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, excessive screen
time
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 can lead to a whole host of health issues.
For example
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, if kids spend most of their
time
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 on digital gaming and engage less in physical activity, they will be more susceptible to obesity and myopia.
On the other hand
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, there are some positives to
this
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 trend. It is
also
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 possible to say that gamers acquire some beneficial skills,
such
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 as planning, critical thinking, and focus
which
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, which
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 might be useful traits when entering the workforce.
Moreover
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, digital
games
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 can teach them social skills, including collaboration and teamwork.
For instance
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, some youngsters struggle with social interaction or have difficulty making friends.
However
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,
due to
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 the environment that online
games
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 offer players, they feel more comfortable and able to communicate with strangers during the game. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that
this
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 trend has both potential benefits and drawbacks.
Therefore
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, we should be cautious and use these devices wisely to support our children's development.

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task
Task response: Make your view clear in the end. Add more proof or facts to show how games affect kids.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Start each para with a clear idea. Use simple links like also, but, for example. Keep sentences short and easy to read.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Talks about both good and bad sides.
content
Some evidence like obesity and myopia is used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • strategic thinking
  • hand-eye coordination
  • mental agility
  • critical thinking
  • educational purposes
  • interactive learning
  • multiplayer games
  • teamwork
  • communication skills
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • repetitive strain injuries
  • mental health
  • addiction
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • social withdrawal
  • academic performance
  • family relationships
  • inappropriate content
  • behavioral effects
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