IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Lifestyle pattern changes over
course
Correct article usage
the course
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
show examples
 from
generation
Use synonyms
 to
generation
Use synonyms
. Our earlier
generations
Use synonyms
, their living
patterns
Use synonyms
 were completely
differently
Replace the word
different
show examples
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
 ours. And probably the
generations
Use synonyms
 afterwards would follow some other way of living
completely
Punctuation problem
, completely
show examples
 different from ours.
Howver
Correct your spelling
However
, it's been a matter of debate always between the
generations
Use synonyms
 about differences in living
patterns
Use synonyms
 and
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 continue in future.
For example
Linking Words
, one
generation
Use synonyms
 from
seventeenth
Correct article usage
the seventeenth
show examples
 century would have reprimanded
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
consequetive
Correct your spelling
consequent
generations
Use synonyms
 about the differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 living
patterns
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 would continue in future as well. It's undeniable that our children's lifestyle and eating habits are very different and
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 some extent
Punctuation problem
, very
show examples
very
Rephrase
more
show examples
 dangerous than
of
Correct pronoun usage
those of
show examples
 the previous
generations
Use synonyms
. Fast foods, containing harmful elements like
transfat
Use the right word
trans fat
show examples
Punctuation problem
, causing
show examples
causing
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 obesity, cancer,
diabetes
Correct word choice
and diabetes
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it's consumers. Alongside sleeping
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
 like late sleeping, lack of physical movement caused by
Correct article usage
the diminition
show examples
diminition
Correct your spelling
diminution
 of outdoor activities is causing irreparable
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
. But isn't
this
Linking Words
 happening as the exigency of
time
Use synonyms
? It's because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the world is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 constant change as it has
been always
Correct word order
always been
show examples
 and it will be forever. Our preceding
generation
Use synonyms
 questions about our life
patterns
Use synonyms
, in the same way they were asked the same question by their previous
generation
Use synonyms
 and the same way
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we shall ask our succeeding
generation
Use synonyms
. It's a
never ending
Verb problem
never-ending
show examples
 cycle of disagreement between
generations
Use synonyms
yet
Punctuation problem
, yet
show examples
 each
generation
Use synonyms
 lives based on
exigency
Correct article usage
the exigency
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
. So it's the requirement of
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to live like
this
Linking Words
 , to follow
this
Linking Words
oatter
Correct your spelling
pattern
 of life. To add more with my notion, it's
also
Linking Words
 necessary to remain
substenilly
Correct your spelling
substantially
 vigilant at the eating habits or lifestyle of the
children
Punctuation problem
children,
show examples
 cause a laissez-faire
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
style of living would end up in insurmountable damage. So in
conclusion
Punctuation problem
conclusion,
show examples
 I would like to say that I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
completely disagree with the stimulus. In my
Correct your spelling
opinion
opion
Add a comma
opion,
show examples
 it's the
time
Use synonyms
 that decides our course of action
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Organize your writing with a clear start, a middle part, and a close. Start with a clear statement of your view and end with a short ending that repeats it.
grammar
Make easy sentences. Check grammar and make verbs match. Use capitals at the start of sentences.
content
Stay on the task. Do not talk about many time years ago. Focus on what children eat and how it affects health today.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas. Words like and, but, also, however, therefore help flow.
example
Use simple, true examples that fit the task. For example, give one point about junk food and one point about active play.
lexical
Choose common words. Avoid hard words and long forms so your meaning is clear.
task response
The writer shows a clear view against the prompt.
coherence
Some links show how lifestyle change can affect health.
content
The topic is relevant and real.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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