IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is obvious that there are a lot of requirements when applying a job. Some think that hiring managers should prioritise employees with a great personality rather than degrees and backgrounds when recruiting. I partially agree with the thought as I believe that all the components should equally consider, and I will explain in this essay.

To begin
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 with, a great personality is a crucial thing that employers should
think
Verb problem
consider
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 carefully when selecting candidates. One of the reasons is to maintain a good workplace or
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
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 reputation. By choosing workers with a great personality, they will easily follow and understand all
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
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 that are beneficial for
companies
Check wording
the company
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.
For example
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, employees with integrity will not manipulate data of the company for
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own benefit.
Instead
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, they will try hard to protect their workplace.
Moreover
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, all their hard work will give positive vibes and contributions towards the company, leading to a great reputation in public.
Thus
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, it is important to choose employees with positive behaviour.
Although
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 personality plays
role
Correct article usage
a role
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for
Change preposition
in
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company’s
Correct article usage
a company’s
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 reputation,
however
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, education background and experience are
also
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 important. Without these, it is not possible
workplaces
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for workplaces
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 can run their program very smoothly. They need qualified persons to bring developments that they could share
to
Change preposition
with
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 other colleagues.
For instance
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, a new data analyst who graduated from HARVARD university and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been working for five years in different companies is hired to help the company solve the problems quickly and meet deadlines to achieve
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
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 target.
This
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 is why background and experience need to be considered. In conclusion, choosing
employee
Correct article usage
an employee
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 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good behaviour is important.
However
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, it is not complete without including personal reviews
such
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 as degree and
experience
Punctuation problem
experience,
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 as they all play significant roles
to bring
Change preposition
in bringing
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 positive development towards
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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.

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task response
Make your main view clear in the first lines. State if you think hiring should rely more on character or on training, and then add more points.
task response
Give a short plan in the intro. Then use two or three clear ideas in the body.
coherence
Use clear links like first, then, also, but, therefore to help the flow.
coherence
Do not use both although and however in the same sentence.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. For example, Harvard should be capitalized, their should agree with employees.
lexical
Be consistent in spelling of behavior/behaviour.
focus
There is a clear aim and you discuss both sides.
example
You use examples to back up some points.
structure
The ending repeats the idea and closes the essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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