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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the rate at which people saved money, expressed as a percentage of GDP, in seven countries from 1990 to 2008.

The table below shows the rate at which people saved money, expressed as a percentage of GDP, in seven countries from 1990 to 2008.
The table illustrates the saving proportion of people in terms of gross domestic product from 1990 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest in
Singapore
Punctuation problem
Singapore,
show examples
 followed by South Korea, at
start
Correct article usage
the start
show examples
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the trend remained almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 after a decade, where
China
Use synonyms
tookover
Correct your spelling
took over
 South Korea, but
China
Use synonyms
comes
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
at first
Correct word order
first at
show examples
 in end of the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the United States had the lowest
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
 throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Singapore was leading in saving as a percentage of GDP in the
1990
Correct your spelling
1990s
 with 43.6 and 46.9, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 second and third place
held
Verb problem
were held
show examples
 by South
corea
Correct your spelling
Korea
 with 37.7 and
China
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 35.6.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Germany, India and Italy with 25.3, 23 and 20.8 respectively in 1990,
this
Linking Words
 trend remained nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 decade in 2000.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in 2008,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the top with 53.2, followed by Singapore 48.3,
whiile
Correct your spelling
while
 other nations had below 34.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the United States had the lowest
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
than
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all other countries
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 less than 18 over the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, china with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • savings rate
  • comparative analysis
  • economic trends
  • financial crises
  • fiscal policies
  • cultural attitudes
  • investment rates
  • consumption patterns
  • economic growth
  • social safety net
  • notable trends
  • economic events
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