IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems? #31.7

Masalah global yang sangat penting. Freshwater is considered
as
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apply
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one of the most important resources in various sectors.
However
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, with the passage of time, the total amount of freshwater has declined significantly and
became
Wrong verb form
has become
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 concerning issue both in developed and developing countries.
This
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 essay will examine the primary causes of
decreasing
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the decrease in
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 freshwater and suggest measures to reduce
this
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 worsening problem. One of the leading causes of reducing clean
water
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 is the inevitable growth of the global population.
This
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 is mostly because it increases the demand for
water
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 not only in domestic settings but
also
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 in industrial and agricultural fields.
According to
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 the United Nations, nearly 2 billion people worldwide live in regions experiencing high
water
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 stress, primarily because of rising populations and intensive farming and industrial activities.
Furthermore
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, unpredictable and extreme changes
weather
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in weather
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 patterns
also
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 threaten
water
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 resources.
For instance
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, many farmers
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 experienced crop failures
due to
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 severe droughts. To address the decline in freshwater availability, governments should prioritise investment in wastewater treatment technology. By recycling and purifying used
water
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,
such
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 facilities can significantly increase the supply of clean
water
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 for households, agriculture, and industry.
In addition
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, expanding technology nationwide would reduce the reliance on natural freshwater sources, ensuring that
water
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 consumption remains sustainable in the long term.
Moreover
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, providing public education on
water
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 conservation can
also
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 increase public awareness
the
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of the
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 importance of saving
water
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. In conclusion, the increasing shortage of freshwater is largely driven by rapid population growth and climate change.
However
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, with effective government efforts,
such
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 as improving
water
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 management facilities and promoting public education, the reduction in
water
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 resources can be handled more effectively.

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structure
Keep links smooth from cause to fix. Use simple words like 'because' and 'so' to join ideas.
grammar
Check small grammar mistakes, like 'has' with 'farmers' and 'weather' before a noun.
content
Add a few more facts or numbers to back up the point in each paragraph.
coherence
Stick to one idea per paragraph and end with a clear idea that leads to the next part.
lexical
Use common words. Do not use hard word that many not know.
structure
The essay has a clear plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
It uses a real data point from the UN to back the issue.
coherence
The plan to cut use of fresh water through reuse shows good reading of task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water scarcity
  • irrigation
  • contaminated
  • waterborne diseases
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • pandemics
  • economic downturn
  • social unrest
  • food security
  • resource management
  • conservation efforts
  • sustainable
  • desalination
  • rainwater harvesting
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