IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many students live with their families while others go to another city to study at university. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios. Include relevant examples in your answer.

While
Linking Words
 some
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 live with their families during their education, others choose
study
Verb problem
to study
show examples
 in another city and live
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own. There are both advantages and disadvantages for each occasion. For
students
Use synonyms
 who live with their family,
do
Correct pronoun usage
they do
show examples
 not have to leave their sweet home and maintain their regular order.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are not
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
 to pay
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 amount of rent. The cost of living is more sustainable for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks as well. When they are getting older and have to leave their safe place, it is
more tough
Correct word choice
tougher
show examples
 to build a life from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scratch.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
independency
Replace the word
independence
show examples
 and having a private space
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not possible for most of them. Other
students
Use synonyms
 who live by their own at
university
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 getting
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
problem solving
Use the right word
problem-solving
show examples
, dealing with their own issues and being
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they may have some advantages when they begin
career
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
. Despite these positive effects,
university
Use synonyms
 life is not always easy for them. Most of them have to work and earn some money to maintain their education.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, dealing with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 inflation rate and rent scamming is really hard for them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to build a new life at the same time with
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 their academic success and distract them. In conclusion,
students
Use synonyms
 who live with their family or by their own in another city
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
face some different advantages and disadvantages.
While
Linking Words
 being independent and free are some positive
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of living
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
 city, dealing with
tough
Correct article usage
a tough
show examples
 economy can be frustrating.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having
not
Rephrase
no
show examples
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being alone is a disadvantage of living with
familiy
Correct your spelling
family
, despite being in a safe place.

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task response
The essay uses two sides, but the ideas are not told in a clear plan. A short view at start can help. Make a simple thesis that you will discuss both sides and give your view at the end.
coherence
Use easy link words to join parts. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence. Use simple neg and pos links like but, also, however, so.
content
The writer tries to cover both sides of the topic.
content
Some real life ideas like rent and life cost are used.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emotional support
  • Independence
  • Self-reliance
  • Familiar environment
  • Social experiences
  • Responsibility
  • Personal growth
  • Homesickness
  • Financial strain
  • Diverse cultures
  • Networking opportunities
  • Family expectations
  • New identity
What to do next:
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