IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map shows a public park (Grange Park) when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map shows a public park (Grange Park) when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the development of
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 time compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1920 when a public
park
Use synonyms
 was built.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
 under
gone
Verb problem
undergone
show examples
 remarkable renovation
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
 1920, which can be seen in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 map.
In addition
Linking Words
, today`s Grange
Use synonyms
park
Fix capitalization
Park
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 water feature, cafe and
ampitheatre
Correct your spelling
amphitheatre
 for
concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 some
attrections
Correct your spelling
attractions
changed
Verb problem
have changed
show examples
 their location
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
rose
Correct article usage
the rose
show examples
garden
Use synonyms
 and seats.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
northwest
Fix capitalization
Northwest Park
show examples
Use synonyms
park
Punctuation problem
park,
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
the seats have been
show examples
 removed
seats
Check wording
apply
show examples
and
rose
Correct article usage
the rose
show examples
garden
Use synonyms
 remained
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
original
Correct pronoun usage
its original
show examples
 place,
while
Linking Words
 in
soutwest
Correct your spelling
Southwest
 seats
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
also
Linking Words
 removed and
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 amphitheatre has been built for purpose of concerts.
Moreover
Linking Words
, both
entrences
Correct your spelling
entrances
 of
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
 and
north
Correct article usage
the north
show examples
 remained
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 place in
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
rose
Correct article usage
the rose
show examples
garden
Use synonyms
 and pond for water plants
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 converted into
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 and play
garden
Use synonyms
 for
children`s
Check wording
children
show examples
 in
northeast
Correct article usage
the northeast
show examples
, water feature replaced the glasshouse in the southeast.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
carpark
Use the right word
car park
show examples
 has been built in the southeast, which
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 one more entrance
im
Correct your spelling
in
 the east,
while
Linking Words
 in the centre of
Use synonyms
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
 fountain
replaced
Verb problem
has been replaced
show examples
 with
rose
Correct article usage
a rose
show examples
garden
Use synonyms
 and chairs.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, garden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • park
  • open
  • features
  • pond
  • trees
  • playground
  • walking paths
  • benches
  • sports
  • facilities
  • entrance
  • pathways
  • car park
  • visitors
  • families
  • events
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