These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

this

Linking Words

modern world, the usage of technology and devices among people and places

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

constantly on the rise. Even

children

Use synonyms

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

enjoy the usage and benefits of technology. I firmly agree that watching

violence

Use synonyms

on television brings negative impacts on

children

Use synonyms

’s behaviour. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will state my opinion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, spending more time on

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

programs

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to several drawbacks

Change preposition

show examples

kids’ thoughts.

For instance

Linking Words

, studies say that: increasing amount of

violence

Use synonyms

on devices among

children

Use synonyms

becoming

Verb problem

is leading to

show examples

aggressive

Check wording

behaviour.

show examples

illustrates

Correct subject-verb agreement

illustrate

show examples

, they will become angry or fight after seeing

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

shows.

Therefore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

often copy actions with their peers in schools, which

effects

Use the right word

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their values and social problems

such

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

crime.

Secondly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

become less

kindness

Replace the word

kind

show examples

and unfriendly. To explain, over time on screen and seeing misbehavior movies

instead

Linking Words

of learn good social values,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that is

Linking Words

why some

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

think

violence

Use synonyms

is normal.

For example

Linking Words

, they use their physical ability when they feel nervous

with

Change preposition

around

show examples

their brothers and friends.

As a result

Linking Words

, other

children

Use synonyms

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

avoid talking with them and

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

their relationships. In

conclusions

Fix the agreement mistake

conclusion

show examples

, modern devices

such

Linking Words

as television

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

to learn good behaviour and skills. I believe that watching

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

behaviour

having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

some disadvantages

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Use synonyms

’s relationships and their behaviours. Yet, with the right

actions

Punctuation problem

actions,

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem can be significantly

reduce

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

hanoonali95

Sep 7, 2025

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planning

Plan your writing. State one clear view first, then add 2 or 3 ideas with small examples.

coherence

Use one idea in each paragraph. Use words like first, then, also to show order.

grammar and language

Keep the grammar simple. Check subject-verb form and plural use.

structure

Work on a short conclusion that repeats your view and one main idea.

content

Clear stance is shown at the start.

structure

Basic essay plan with intro, body, and conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

220 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

desensitize
mimicking
aggressive
idolize
fear or anxiety
social interactions
mental health
proactive
supervision
content

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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.

The number of people who are at the risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the reasons for growth in the overweight people in the society. How can this problem be solved.

Governments in many countries are replacing old buildings such as art galleries and town halls with new ones. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some People Think That Allowing Children To Make Their Own Choices Is Likely To Result In A Society Of Individuals Who Only Think About Their Own Wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.