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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below shows changes in modes of transport chosen by travellers in European country from 1950 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below shows changes in modes of transport chosen by travellers in European country from 1950 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar
garph
Correct your spelling
graph
 illustrates the various modes of
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
 used by European people in European nations
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
four
Use synonyms
 decades, divided
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
four
Use synonyms
 types of
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, car
users
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
significantly rose in
four
Use synonyms
 decades, from the lowest to the highest
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, people who walk and
users
Use synonyms
 of
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 decreased from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the top to the bottom.
In addition
Linking Words
, bus
travelers
Use the right word
travellers
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rose after mid 90s and fell in the following period.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1950, car
users
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 at 5 and bus
paassengers
Correct your spelling
passengers
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 15 to 20,
while
Linking Words
 bikers, foot travellers were at around 27 and nearly 39, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in 1970, coach
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 and
Use synonyms
four wheelers
Use the right word
four-wheeler
show examples
users
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gained more than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two modes,
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 with above 25 and
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 with 25.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
bike
Replace the word
biking
show examples
 and foot at around 20.
Lastly
Linking Words
, after
four
Use synonyms
 decades in 1990, personal
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
users
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 highest with nearly 38, and coach
users
Use synonyms
 at just above 15.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the same
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
 bikers
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 at 5 and walking people
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 at around 7
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words four, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • changes
  • modes of transport
  • travellers
  • European country
  • 1950
  • 1990
  • summarise
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • popularity
  • time periods
  • bicycle
  • walking
  • car
  • public transportation
  • motorcycle
  • increased significantly
  • preferred mode of transport
  • stability
  • slight increase
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