IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that schools should give prizes for academic successes. Others argue that it is more important for schools to give prizes for other ahivements (for example, for sports, music and behaviour). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, the question of whether schools should be rewarded for educational successes has been widely debated.
While
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 some contend that governments should provide the prizes for schooling criteria, others believe schools give the reward for extracurricular achievements.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I support the former viewpoint. On the one hand, governments provide a prize for those
students
Use synonyms
 who achieve the target score and get a high distinction, making a bright future.
For example
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, New York schools provide scholarships for
students
Use synonyms
 who get good marks in academics.
Furthermore
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, studying must be for everyone.
On the other hand
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, in the modern era, children are more intractable in different ways; some children are initiative attract their different skills,
such
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 as athletic, musical, and well-behaved.
For instance
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, the recent newspaper showed that in the country of China, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 participate in different games and get first place all over the world. China encouraged its children to participate in other kinds of skills as well; they made a big instrumental place for the younger to develop artistic skills. In conclusion,
although
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 academic achievements are important for
students
Use synonyms
 to achieve great future outcomes.
However
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, non-academic attainment must flourish for adults because they do things
according to
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 their own choice.

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task response
Be clear on your view in the intro and keep this view in the end.
coherence
Make a simple plan: one intro, two or three body parts, one clear conclusion.
examples
Explain each example and show how it supports your idea.
language
Use easy links like for example, also, but, therefore to join ideas.
language
Check grammar and keep short sentences so people can read easily.
structure
The essay tries to show both views.
content
It uses some examples to back up ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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