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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table shows results of surveys done in 1980 and 2010 on various aspects of city living in a particular city. Units are measured in percentage.

The table shows results of surveys done in 1980 and 2010 on various aspects of city living in a particular city. Units are measured in percentage.
The provided tables illustrate the survey results of six distinct aspects of living in a city, measured in percentages, by three choices of answer in 1980 and 2010.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the citizens' satisfaction with education and employment increased slightly,
while
Linking Words
 healthcare, shops, and transport sectors reported a downward trajectory.
In addition
Linking Words
, more people opined that the city's environment got worse throughout the period observed. As shown in the figure,
initially
Linking Words
 in 1980, 72% and 62% individuals thought that the education and employment aspects, respectively, in the city
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 good and over thirty years, these numbers rose by 10% each.
Conversely
Linking Words
, people's satisfaction with
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 system showed a decline, from 82% to 74% over a three-decade span. A decrease
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
was also
show examples
 observed in
Correct article usage
the shops
show examples
shops
Fix the agreement mistake
shop
show examples
 aspect, starting with 64% in 1980 and culminating in 60% by 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
show examples
 department displayed the most dramatic drop, with a difference of more than 10% by the end of the observed years. Interestingly,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
respondent's
Check wording
respondents'
show examples
 satisfaction
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 remained relatively stable, there was a slight increase in
bad
Correct word choice
negative
show examples
response
Fix the agreement mistake
responses
show examples
 by 10% towards the end of the period shown.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • percentage
  • trend
  • satisfaction
  • urban planning
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • safety
  • security
  • perception
  • quality of life
  • amenities
  • development
  • legislation
  • initiatives
  • community well-being
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