The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of retail sectors in New Zealand, where people do online shopping over the decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that travel and
clothes
Use synonyms
were higher than other sectors.
To begin
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with, in 2003 the
persantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
of
travelling
Use the right word
travellers
show examples
was the highest
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
36% online
shoppers
Punctuation problem
shoppers,
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while
Linking Words
film and music gained just under a quarter of
portion
Check wording
the market
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, books and
clothes
Use synonyms
were unattractive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
fewer people did online shopping
19
Punctuation problem
, 19
show examples
% and 21%, respectively. Looking at the second pie chart, the largest proportion was taken by
clothes
Use synonyms
at one third
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
compared with 2003.
According to
Linking Words
books,there has been a slight increase over the ten-year period 22%. The smallest proportion was taken by
clothes
Use synonyms
approximately
Punctuation problem
, approximately
show examples
16
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
travel
also
Linking Words
decreased slightly
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
29 %. In summary, in
2003
Punctuation problem
2003,
show examples
travelling was the highest retail sector
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
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risen considerably
33
Change preposition
by 33
show examples
%
as for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words clothes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • E-commerce
  • Retail sectors
  • Growth rate
  • Decade
  • Decline
  • Trends
  • Online transactions
  • Consumer behavior
  • Market share
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Digital era
  • Accessibility
  • User-friendly platform
  • Market dynamics
  • Predictive outlook
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