IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Every nation should provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
health
Use synonyms
 services , even though the latest treatments, being costly, are unavailable.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 view, because, availability of cost-free
health
Use synonyms
 benefits is economically beneficial for a country, and can
also
Linking Words
 help in
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
 breakouts of pandemics. To commence with, most of the poor section of society are unable to get the treatment for a disease, because they cannot afford
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, many individuals die even of
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as diarrhoea, etc.
However
Linking Words
, if basic medical treatment is available free of
money
Check wording
charge
show examples
, impoverished people will have easy access to it, and can get a diagnosis
as well as
Linking Words
 the cure, before it is too late.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, the mortality rate of women
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
 section of society at
child birth
Use the right word
childbirth
show examples
 is very high, as they cannot manage to buy
pre-natal
Use the right word
prenatal
show examples
 care or go to a hospital, but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 makes medical arrangements for
such
Linking Words
females
Check wording
women
show examples
, it can easily be managed.
Secondly
Linking Words
, free healthcare can help us
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
identify communicable diseases
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and avoid
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 risk of a pandemic. Free
health
Use synonyms
 check-up camps organised by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can help reach
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each and every section of society to control the breakout of any
transmissable
Correct your spelling
transmissible
 sickness, henceforth, avoiding any
further
Linking Words
 escalation, by providing facilities
such
Linking Words
 as vaccines and medicines. To illustrate, the Coronavirus pandemic
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 could only be controlled
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 after people were vaccinated in free camps organised by the
governmnent
Correct your spelling
government
. Conclusively,
probono
Correct your spelling
pro bono
 medical assistance can really be helpful, especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to increase
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 quality of a nation, since it helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor people to get necessary aid in their illness, and
also
Linking Words
 to stop
spreading
Wrong verb form
the spread
show examples
 of a disease,
further
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 aggravating
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 an epidemic or pandemic.

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task response
Be clear about your view in the first sentence and keep it the same idea all through; do not shift the stance.
coherence
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea. Start with a simple sentence that tells the idea, then give one or two simple reasons or examples.
language
Check your grammar and spell common words. Use easy words and short sentences to keep the meaning clear.
idea
The essay shows a real aim to help the poor with free health care.
example
You use examples from life, such as India or a pandemic, to back the point.
purpose
The main goal to stop disease spread is easy to see and to feel.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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