IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that the the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs . Other believe that there are much wider benefits of university education for both individual and society . Discuss both views and give your opinion .

In modern society, many individuals find themselves studying high
education
Use synonyms
 helps them get better jobs.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some people maintain that schooling
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not essential to their
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 career. Personally, I completely disagree with the idea that
education
Use synonyms
 is
unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 to get into
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 outstanding company.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons
behide
Correct your spelling
behind
 and argue why studying should not be lookover.
To begin
Linking Words
 ,
high quility
Correct your spelling
high-quality
 companies
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
offer
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 who have a
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees believe that good academic
canidate
Correct your spelling
candidates
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
often
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 with talent,
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
, and
kindess
Correct your spelling
kindness
. These people could make a wise
dicition
Correct your spelling
decision
 for the company to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 their goals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, top-ranking schools are the place that students
usally
Correct your spelling
usually
 get a good connection, which could be
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 after their
gradation
Use the right word
graduation
show examples
. Including
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
, jobs, and social.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the
introview
Correct your spelling
interview
 of
succes
Replace the word
a successful
show examples
business man
Use the right word
businessman
show examples
 mentioned that he got a chance to try out his startup business because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his classmate
support
Wrong verb form
supported
show examples
 him
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
Replace the word
financially
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some individuals
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
gives
Verb problem
receive
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 studying for their
futher
Correct your spelling
future
 working places. I firmly
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that the aim of university
education
Use synonyms
 could lead to
achiveve
Correct your spelling
achieve
 the life goal
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work.
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 lots of advantages to
workers
Check wording
workers'
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
woking
Use the right word
working
show examples
 in
leading
Correct article usage
a leading
show examples
 company, and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a good social
.
Check wording
life.
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay shows a view but does not discuss both sides enough. The task asks for a view on both sides and your own opinion.
structure
Plan before you write. Use one clear plan: intro with thesis, two body paragraphs (one for each view), and a short conclusion with your own view.
linking
Link ideas with small, simple words like first, also, but, so to help flow.
grammar
Try to use simple, correct words and check spelling and word form. Avoid hard spellings.
examples
Give one or two real examples to back up your point, and explain them briefly.
content
You state a clear view from the start.
content
You refer to the link between study and future work.
structure
You try to talk about both sides, even if it is not full.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: