IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

To solve the growing problem of traffic and pollution in cities, governments should heavily tax private car ownership and use the revenue to make public transportation free. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that to reduce
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams and poor air quality in cities
authorities
Punctuation problem
, authorities
show examples
 should impose higher taxes on individuals who own
cars
Use synonyms
 and
use
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 money collected from taxes to implement
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 of charge public
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
this
Linking Words
 would lead to
incentivizing
Use the right word
incentivising
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
 and improving the general public health of civilians. charge car owners with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 duty
compel
Verb problem
to compel
show examples
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
them
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
 trains and buses to commute. The reason is
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to go to their work easily and freely
instead
Linking Words
 of spending
Correct article usage
a lot’s
show examples
lot’s
Change preposition
lot of
show examples
 money on fuel and spending minutes in
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion.
This
Linking Words
cost effective
Use the right word
cost-effective
show examples
 way of saving may ~~~ more
people
Use synonyms
 rethinking before using their own
cars
Use synonyms
.
Make
Verb problem
For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
 had a huge experience with
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. Making a free
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 contributed
Positively
Fix capitalization
positively
show examples
 to eradicating
this
Linking Words
 issue
due
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 used it to go to work. Another reason why public
transportation
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 should be
maken
Correct your spelling
made
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 can become
Moore
Check wording
apply
show examples
healthier.
In other words
Linking Words
.
People
Use synonyms
 who spend more time in congested and polluted roads are more
susceptable
Correct your spelling
susceptible
 to
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
 from respiratory disease and anxiety.
Thus
Linking Words
 suffer from many health conditions that put a huge strain on
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 health
system
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Use
Wrong verb form
Using
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trains or public buses would reduce
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
ensure
Verb problem
help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to be more relax and
less
Verb problem
be less
show examples
expose
Replace the word
exposed
show examples
 to carbon dioxide
emit
Wrong verb form
emitted
show examples
 from
cars
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a new Australian public
transportation
Use synonyms
reduced
Check wording
system reduced
show examples
 the percentage of
hospitalized
Use the right word
hospitalised
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 by 10% over a year. In conclusion, individuals
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 should be paid
takes
Use the right word
taxes
show examples
 to the government to make a public
system
Use synonyms
 without fees. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a viable solution to pollution and
traffics
Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
show examples
 because it encourages more
people
Use synonyms
 to commute by trains or buses and promotes for healthier
life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
.

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structure
Plan the essay with a clear start, middle, and end. Put one main idea in each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like and, but, so, then.
organization
State your view in the first paragraph and restate it in the end. Do not say you agree too much; show why with clear reasons.
content
Give more full ideas for each point. Explain why charging car owners will help and give a real, simple example.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use simple, correct sentences so your point is clear.
content
The writer takes a clear view from the start.
structure
The idea to use tax money to fund public transport is clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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