IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The line chart compared the weekly spending in families in one country between 1968 and 2018.

The line chart compared the weekly spending in families in one country between 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, families spent the most in 1968,
while
Linking Words
 after 50 years, by 2018, the spending on
leisure
Use synonyms
 occupied
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
show examples
 figure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Both
Fix capitalization
both
show examples
 cost less money on fuel and power.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 accounted for 35% in 1968, which was twice as high as other items.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending on housing and
leisure
Use synonyms
 were second highest,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at 19% and 22%, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 there
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
were some
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 less than 5% with fuel and power, clothing and
foot
Use the right word
footwear
show examples
 ware and personal goods in 2018.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Both
Fix capitalization
both
show examples
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spent equal
dollers
Correct your spelling
dollars
 on household goods. In the year 2018, expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
 stood
out
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 23%,
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
 than other items
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 It is
also
Linking Words
notieble
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that there is a large gap between
Use synonyms
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
show examples
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 in 1968 and 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words leisure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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