IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below illustrates the production of beverage

The diagram below illustrates the production of beverage
The flow chart shows the way how beverages are produced
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 5 stages in the whole beverage producing process, beginning with the cleaning
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 and ending with the packaging to deliver to
supermarket
Correct article usage
the supermarket
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
, the filter used to clean raw
water
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
 passess to the heating process through pump after
water
Use synonyms
 softened and added chemicals. In the second stage, the
water
Use synonyms
 is heated by electric heaters and put to carbon dioxide through
cooling
Correct article usage
a cooling
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 pipe. In the third stage , the
water
Use synonyms
 is mixed by adding
coloring
Use the right word
colouring
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, syrup and flavour before moving into
fourth
Correct article usage
the fourth
show examples
 stage
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
filtering and filling. The mixture
puts
Wrong verb form
is put
show examples
 into bottles and cans through
filter
Correct article usage
a filter
show examples
. The final step is packaging to deliver to the supermarket.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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