IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia in last 4 weeks instant coffee fresh coffee having coffee or tea at cafes

The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of people purchasing fresh
coffee
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,
instant
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coffee
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 and having
coffee
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 or tea at cafeterias
last
Linking Words
 month in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and
Hobart
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 in Australia. It is obvious that drinking
coffee
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 or tea at the shop was the most popular habit across
five
Correct article usage
the five
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 given
cities
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,
while
Linking Words
 buying fresh
coffee
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 was the least
favored
Use the right word
favoured
show examples
 option in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks. Notably,
Hobart
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 is the city that witnessed the high figures for both buying fresh
coffee
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 and having
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
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 the cafes. Drinking
coffee
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 or tea at the
coffee
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 shop and
instant
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coffee
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 together made up the majority in all five surveyed
cities
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 of Australia. In Sydney, just over 60% of people went to the cafes and about 45% of those
buying
Wrong verb form
bought
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instant
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coffee
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last
Linking Words
 month,
while
Linking Words
 these figures for Melbourne were approximately 63% and 48%, making a gap of 15% in both
cities
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. The proportion
for
Change preposition
of
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 cafe-visitors in
Hobart
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 was
at
Change preposition
apply
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nearly 63%, 9% higher than
instant
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coffee
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 buyers;
whereas
Linking Words
 a closer gap of only 3% was recorded in Brisbane.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Adelaide was the only city that witnessed the slight surpass of
instant
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coffee
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 over going to cafeterias, by a mere 1%. Fresh
coffee
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 purchasing stood
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 place
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
five
Correct article usage
the five
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mentioned
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 of Australia in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks. At roughly 45%, the residents of Sydney led in buying fresh
coffee
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, followed by Melbourne at about 43% and
Hobart
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 at around 38%. The figures were lower in Adelaide and Brisbane
accounting
Punctuation problem
, accounting
show examples
 for approximately 35% both, occupying the smallest share among all given
cities
Use synonyms
.

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task
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with one big line that shows the chart, then add the facts for each city. End with a short, simple summary.
coherence
Group ideas well. Use two or three short parts: overview, details by city or by drink, and a simple close. Use small linking words like and, but, also, then.
accuracy
Be steady with time and numbers. If you say last month, keep it the same all through. Check the numbers so they match the chart.
lexical resource
Use easy and clear words. Keep sentences short and avoid long phrases.
content
The essay covers all five cities and all three drink types.
data use
It uses data to back up points.
analysis
There is a clear aim to show the top results of the chart.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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