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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many parents these days work in other countries, taking their families with them. Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

On the positive side, moving abroad with one’s family can provide better opportunities.
Firstly
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,
children
Use synonyms
 often gain access to higher-quality education and exposure to different cultures.
This
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 can broaden their horizons, improve their language skills, and enhance their adaptability.
Secondly
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, families who relocate together can avoid the emotional strain of long-term separation. Unlike parents who work abroad
while
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 leaving their
children
Use synonyms
 behind, those who migrate as a unit can maintain stronger bonds and share experiences, which contributes to family harmony.
However
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, the drawbacks of
this
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 development are more compelling. Adapting to a new country is rarely easy, especially for
children
Use synonyms
 who must adjust to unfamiliar school systems, social environments, and cultural norms.
This
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 can lead to identity confusion and difficulties in forming lasting friendships.
Moreover
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, parents may face unstable employment or visa restrictions, which can create financial and emotional insecurity for the whole family. Another concern is the weakening of extended family ties. By moving overseas,
children
Use synonyms
 may lose regular contact with grandparents and relatives, which can affect their sense of belonging and cultural identity. In conclusion,
although
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 taking families abroad can provide educational and emotional benefits, the risks of cultural adjustment, financial instability, and weakened family networks outweigh these advantages. For many, the costs of
such
Linking Words
 relocation may ultimately be greater than the rewards.

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task response
Add one or two more counter ideas and show how families can make relocation easier, to show balance.
coherence
Place a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph and use smooth links between ideas to improve flow.
examples
Use more specific and concrete examples that show impact on family life.
structure
Clear take on the issue with a strong stance.
cohesion
Good use of sign posts like firstly, secondly, however, and in conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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