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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

These days, historical concerns are really trendy topics. It is believed by a group of individuals that
people
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 do not tend to keep traditional
culture
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alive
Punctuation problem
alive,
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whereas
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 others have the idea that keeping traditional
culture
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 is a serious responsibility for different
nations
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. My view leans more towards the latter. So, I am going to elaborate on
this
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 in the following. Those who are not interested in saving their traditional
culture
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 believe that everything in their lives should be
modernized
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modernised
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, especially their
culture
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. They think that thanks to the internet new
culture
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distributes
Wrong verb form
is distributed
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 around the
world
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, and new generations operate like each other and have their own beliefs and values.
Therefore
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, they prefer to live with modern
culture
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.
As a result
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, they do not pay enough attention to traditional
culture
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, and it will
disappear ultimately
Correct word order
ultimately disappear
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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, some elements of modern
culture
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 are very simple to follow and make life much easier for
people
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.
Thus
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,
people
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 prefer to use them.
For example
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, despite the fact that
people
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 used to spend a lot of money to hold marriage ceremonies in the past,
people
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 are encouraged to have a simple party nowadays, especially with their best friends and close relatives.
Consequently
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, some items of traditional
culture
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 will fade dramatically.
On the other hand
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, advocates of preserving a traditional
culture
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 think that their
culture
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 is a great heritage from their ancestors, and all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nations
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 must make their effort to maintain it. These
people
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 have their point of view, which
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
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 each member in each society is responsible
to teach
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for teaching
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 their
culture
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 to the next generation because it includes many valuable traditional
costume
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costumes
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, celebrations, rituals, and foods.
Similarly
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, these
people
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 take every opportunity to introduce it to other
nations
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, and show their power and abilities
to
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apply
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around the
world
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. Because of
this
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, they try to use their traditional
culture
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 as their lifestyle, and their children and other
nations
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 will become familiar with that. In conclusion,
although
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,
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apply
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 some
people
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 think that preserving traditional
culture
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 and transmitting it to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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future generations is essential, there are some
people
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 who would like to live based on
Correct article usage
a modernized
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modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
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world
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. In my opinion, the existence of various traditional cultures in
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 is really amazing, and it is a good way to learn from our ancestors. I recommend integrating it with modern life to save valuable aspects.

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planning
Plan your writing first. State your view and then give ideas to back it up.
language
Use short, clear sentences. Keep to simple words so all can read.
structure
Make one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic line and end with a small point.
content
Add a few exact examples from life or news to show your point.
cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'for example'.
content
You give a clear view that traditional culture is important.
structure
You show both sides and have a final view.
cohesion
You use some good links and ideas to show cause and effect.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • traditional customs
  • cultural heritage
  • personal identity
  • community identity
  • folk traditions
  • cultural roots
  • cultural preservation
  • societal norms
  • modern influences
  • cultural evolution
  • intergenerational transmission
  • cultural significance
  • relevance of traditions
  • identity formation
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