IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Recently, the issue of
subjects
Use synonyms
 selected by university
students
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is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 highly discussed. Some people maintain that
students
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 have the right to learn diverse
subjects
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,
while
Linking Words
 others believe only practical
subjects
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 which are related to
societies’
Check wording
society’s
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future
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development
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 should be
chose
Wrong verb form
chosen
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. I side with the formal one, as every subject
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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value
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 to different
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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. University
students
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 provided with opportunities to participate in preferred
subjects
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 will get better achievements. Research showed that when
students
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 were taking courses they liked, they would
be
Verb problem
find it
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 easier than others to focus for
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 time. With
long-time
Correct word choice
long-term
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fucus
Use the right word
focus
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 and
hardworking
Correct word choice
hard work
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,
students
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 who study their
interested
Replace the word
interests
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 courses always get better grades, some of them even choose to study
further
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.
As a result
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,
students
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 who chose
preferred
Correct pronoun usage
their preferred
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 subject could get better results.
However
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, some people are inclined to believe that only useful
subjects
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 should be opened to university
students
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, as those are helpful for a country’s
future
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development
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. With the achievement of
high tech
Use the right word
high-tech
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 and AI programs
promoting
Verb problem
progressing
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 rapidly, more knowledgeable
students
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 are
demanded
Change preposition
in demand
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 by corporations. If those useful and important
subjects
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 become mandatory, more talented
students
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 will be discovered, which might make significant progress
to
Change preposition
in
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 the
future
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development
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. Ultimately, those people believe limited
subjects
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 can bring unlimited
value
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.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my perspective, all
subjects
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 have their
value
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 and importance. A society
is consisted
Wrong verb form
consists
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with
Change preposition
of
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 diverse
domain
Fix the agreement mistake
domains
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, we shouldn’t just focus on those
subjects
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 with obvious
value
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.
For instance
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, culture
development
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 is highly related to history and literature, which are regarded as one of the most useless
subjects
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; Art
development
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 can push the
development
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 of business, as many fashion companies
get
Verb problem
make
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profit
Correct article usage
a profit
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 from it.
Also
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,
students
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’ willingness should be respected as everyone has different
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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 and
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
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. In conclusion, though important
subjects
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such
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 as science are helpful to a country’s
future
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development
Use synonyms
, I believe
students
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 should be allowed to study whatever they want. Each subject has its
value
Use synonyms
 and importance, and
students
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’ willingness should be respected.

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structure
Use a clear plan. Start each paragraph with a simple idea that shows your point.
language
Fix grammar and spelling so you can be clear.
content
Give one or two real, simple examples to show why people hold each view.
content
The essay speaks on both sides and ends with the writer’s view.
structure
There are some good links between ideas in parts of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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