IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of unemployed graduates, aged 20-24, in one European country over a two-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of unemployed graduates, aged 20-24, in one European country over a two-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of unemployed
graduates
Use synonyms
 in a European country from
Jan
Check wording
January
show examples
 2008 to
Oct
Check wording
October
show examples
 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the trend shows that there is a gradual increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
unemployed
Replace the word
unemployment
show examples
 rates among both male and female
graduates
Use synonyms
 over 2 years
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 ratio is consistently higher among male
graduates
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to their female
counter parts
Use the right word
counterparts
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. The unemployment percentage among
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 was 10% at the beginning of 2008,
then
Linking Words
 it gradually
falls
Wrong verb form
fell
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 to 7%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 April and remained constant till July.
Then
Linking Words
 there was a sharp increase to over 15%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 October
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 steadily
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 to over 10% and fluctuated till July 2019. In
Oct
Check wording
October
show examples
2019
Punctuation problem
2019,
show examples
 there was a spike
over
Change preposition
of over
show examples
 20%. The scenario is almost similar among female
graduates
Use synonyms
. The rate declined to 6% on July 08 from 8% on
Jan
Check wording
January
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 08.
Them
Use the right word
Then
show examples
 it rose over 10%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 oc08
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 fluctuated around 10% till July 2009.
Then
Linking Words
 there was a sudden rise close to 15%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
oct
Check wording
October
show examples
 2009.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "falls" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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