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the chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sport activities by youngest and oldest population in the US in 2015.

the chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sport activities by youngest and oldest population in the US in 2015.
The bar chart compares the average number of
hours
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 per day spent on
leisure
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 and sports
activities
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 among two age
groups
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 in the United States in 2015
:
Punctuation problem
:
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 young
people
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 aged 15–19 and older
people
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 aged 75 and above. The
activities
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 include watching TV, reading, relaxing and thinking, socializing and communicating, playing games or using the computer for
leisure
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, and participating in sports, exercise, and recreation.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 watching television was the most popular
leisure
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activity
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 for both
groups
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, though the elderly spent almost twice as much time on it compared with
teenagers
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. Younger
people
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 tended to
favor
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favour
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 more active or digital pastimes,
while
Linking Words
 older
people
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 preferred quieter and more relaxing
activities
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. The most significant
activity
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 was watching television, at around 4.5
hours
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 per day for those aged 75 and above, compared with only 2.4
hours
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 for
teenagers
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. The second most common
activity
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 among
teenagers
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 was playing games or using the computer for
leisure
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, at 1.1
hours
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,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure was much lower among the elderly.
By contrast
Linking Words
, older
people
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 spent about 1 hour reading daily, which was five times higher than the 0.2
hours
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 reported for
teenagers
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. Relaxing and thinking was another
activity
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favored
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favoured
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 more by the elderly (0.6
hours
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) than by young
people
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 (0.1
hours
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).
Socializing
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Socialising
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 and communicating
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 relatively similar between the two
groups
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, at 0.8
hours
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 for
teenagers
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 and 0.7 for the elderly.
Finally
Linking Words
, sports, exercise, and recreation were considerably more popular among
teenagers
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 (0.6
hours
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),
while
Linking Words
 the elderly devoted very little time to
this
Linking Words
activity
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. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 both age
groups
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 engaged in similar types of
leisure
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activities
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,
teenagers
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 preferred active and digital entertainment,
whereas
Linking Words
 older
people
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 tended to choose more passive and reflective
activities
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, leisure, activities, groups, people, activity, teenagers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • average hours
  • leisure activities
  • sport activities
  • youngest population
  • oldest population
  • trends
  • differences
  • data
  • overview
  • body paragraph
  • introduction
  • conclusion
  • summarize
  • observations
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