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Band 5.5

the chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sport activities by youngest and oldest population in the US in 2015.

the chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sport activities by youngest and oldest population in the US in 2015.
The bar chart compares how much
time
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 people aged 15–19 and those aged 75 and over spent on various leisure
activities
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 per day in 2015. The
activities
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 include watching TV, reading, relaxing,
socializing
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socialising
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, playing games, and doing physical exercise.
Overall
Linking Words
, older people spent more
time
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 watching television and reading,
whereas
Linking Words
teenagers
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 spent more
time
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 on computer-related
activities
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 and sports. Interestingly, both groups devoted similar amounts of
time
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 to
socializing
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socialising
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 and relaxing. Watching TV was the most
time
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-consuming activity for both age groups, but it was significantly higher among the elderly, who watched for 4.5
hours
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 daily compared to just 2.4
hours
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 among
teenagers
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. A similar pattern is seen in reading, with seniors spending one hour per day
while
Linking Words
teenagers
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spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 only 0.2
hours
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
teenagers
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 spent more
time
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 playing computer games or using computers for leisure (1.1
hours
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) compared to only 0.5
hours
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 for the older group. They
also
Linking Words
 engaged more in physical
activities
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, spending 0.6
hours
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 per day on sport and exercise,
while
Linking Words
 the elderly averaged just 0.2
hours
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. Both groups spent similar amounts of
time
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on
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apply
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socializing
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socialising
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 and relaxing.
Teenagers
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 spent 0.8
hours
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socializing
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socialising
show examples
 and 0.1
hours
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 relaxing,
while
Linking Words
 the elderly spent 0.7 and 0.6
hours
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. In summary, the chart shows clear generational differences in leisure preferences, with older adults
favoring
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favouring
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 passive
activities
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 like TV and reading, and
teenagers
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 spending more
time
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 on active or technology-based pursuits

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activities, teenagers, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • average hours
  • leisure activities
  • sport activities
  • youngest population
  • oldest population
  • trends
  • differences
  • data
  • overview
  • body paragraph
  • introduction
  • conclusion
  • summarize
  • observations
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