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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the best way to learn new things is to study them alone. Others think that it is always better to get help from a skilled teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your choice

Does it seem justifiable that a person is tutored by
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
show examples
 mind? Indeed ,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 there should be an authoritative figure to nurture the new skills as it not only
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 clarity to the new vision but it
is
Verb problem
apply
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also
Linking Words
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
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 productivity.
In contrast
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, self-studying a new thing might become less effective if the ideas and basic concepts are not clear. On the one hand,
although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 self-taught lessons are good for mind exercise, they are more
Use synonyms
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
show examples
.
As a result
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, they are
nonefficient
Use the right word
inefficient
show examples
 when it comes to
time
Use synonyms
 management. To exemplify, if a student is trying to learn math equations by himself,
indubitably
Rephrase
undoubtedly
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his concepts are blurry.
Hence
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, it will take
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 amount of
time
Use synonyms
 just to understand the idea.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is
job
Correct article usage
the job
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 of professional teachers to train young minds in learning new skills. Educators have
Correct article usage
a standardized
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standardized
Change the spelling
standardised
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 curriculum which
led
Wrong verb form
leads
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 the
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
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 in the class to learn the lesson
according to
Linking Words
 their age.
Moreover
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, it results in more productive learning. The science teacher,
for instance
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, would teach practical sessions in the classroom to educate the learners about chemicals, which
is
Verb problem
cannot
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 impossible to learn
with
Change preposition
through
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isolation
Replace the word
isolated
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 study.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, studying with
teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
show examples
 gives a reality check about the progress in the subject. To attain a good understanding of a
syllabus
Punctuation problem
syllabus,
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 it’s crucial to get
review
Correct article usage
a review
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 from a preceptor
Punctuation problem
. .onlt
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.onlt
Correct your spelling
Only
then
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,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 possible to increase the academic scorecard.
For example
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, had Noah, one of my classmates did not
ask
Wrong verb form
asked
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 for feedback on the assignment
he
Punctuation problem
, he
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 would not have achieved a desirable result. In conclusion, it’s necessary to have guidance
while
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 imparting new skills and knowledge. The self-study should be encouraged only after understanding the theory and ideas to avoid
non productivity
Use the right word
non-productivity
show examples
 and
time
Use synonyms
 wastage.

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task response
Make the argument clear from the start. State your main view in the first sentence.
task response
Add more detail to each reason. Give one or two small, real examples to back up ideas.
grammar vocabulary
Fix grammar and spelling mistakes. Use simple, common words and short sentences.
coherence
Connect ideas with simple linking words (also, but, so, because) and make sure sentences join smoothly.
content
A clear view is stated that a teacher can help learning.
examples
Examples are used to back up points.
tone
Formal tone is kept most of the time.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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