IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have moved to another city but your bank has your old address and continues to send all communication there. Write a letter to your bank branch. In the letter, mention: •Where have you moved? •What problem are you facing regarding the bank’s communication? •What you want them to do regarding old communication already sent to the wrong address.

Dear Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well and in the best spirits. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to give you an update about my current
address
Use synonyms
. So that I will get all letters and notices over there. My name is Sam. Recently I moved from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Toronto
city
Check wording
apply
show examples
to Surrey. My new
address
Use synonyms
 is 12183 77A Avenue, Scottsdale, Surrey. I moved here for better employment opportunities.
Due to
Linking Words
 the
last
Linking Words
-minute move, I did not get time to visit the
bank
Use synonyms
. Because of that, all the important documents and notices, sent by the
bank
Use synonyms
 to my previous mailing
address
Use synonyms
. Unfortunately, I lost one cheque sent by the
bank
Use synonyms
 to the given
address
Use synonyms
. I humbly request
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
update my current
address
Use synonyms
 in the
bank
Use synonyms
 system. I do not want to lose any kind of important information.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, kindly let me know
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 I need to provide proof of
address
Use synonyms
 or identification?
or Can
Use the right word
Or can
show examples
 you forward all those documents to my new
address
Use synonyms
? I am looking forward to hearing from you soon! Yours sincerely, Sam.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar-and-clarity
Fix small grammar and make each paragraph hold one clear idea. Use short, easy words.
structure
Put the main aim in the first lines. Then add one idea per paragraph and use simple links like also and then to flow.
tone
Polite tone and good close.
content
Clear ask to update address and forward mail.
content
You ask to keep mail safe and not miss mail.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: